I have heard now, in the past few days while driving around, not once but twice, the clean radio edit version of Lil Jon’s “Get Low.” It’s like what is even the point?
It’s time to play the Tinder Pittsburgh drinking game!
- Someone posing with a dead deer: 1 drink
- Someone you know in real life: Do 1 shot )
- Someone who only has one Facebook interest in common with you, and it is “The Steelers”: Drink an entire can of IC Light
- Someone with Steelers, Pirates, or Penguins anything in their main picture: 1 drink for every logo, player, or Stanley Cup
- Someone you remember from browsing OKCupid: 1 drink
- Someone who has Facebook friends in common with you: 1 drink for every friend you have in common
- Someone you’ve been on an OKCupid date with: Roofie yourself to forget
- Someone you remember from OKCupid who was a total sleaze: Finish your drink
- Someone you remember from OKCupid who was a total sleaze AND has Facebook friends in common with you: OhGOD finish the bottle
I love both New York and Pittsburgh, but one of Pittsburgh’s enormous advantages is cheap real estate. Though things worked out rather strangely, I like having a little place out there I can always think of as my own. An apartment just isn’t the same.
HOWEVER, for any of you feeling real estate envy, I would just like to mention that I came home this morning and was walking around taking stock of things and discovered a very dead…well, I can’t even tell what it is anymore. Opossum, I think? in the yard. And that ain’t nobody’s problem but Jessica’s. I feel like home ownership is like parenthood in that you suddenly become equipped to deal with a bunch of gross shit just because it’s yours.
Still, it feels great to hear birds chirping and have some green and nature outside my window. Even though some of that nature may be dead.
Why did no one tell me about Tinder? And I mean really tell me. Tinder combines two things I enjoy: oggling men and judging people.
New York Zen Master says: When trying to navigate busy sidewalks and subways, do not seek to avoid people. Seek to become the one people wish to avoid.
*steps outside into the humidity and immediately oozes sweat from every pore*
Yes…just part of the plan.
So a friend and I watched the Lego Movie tonight. It was cute and all – funny too – but I’m not sure what I thought about the not too subtle message that equated questioning the consumption of mass produced products and entertainment with intellectual snob– ♪ EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU’RE PART OF THE TEAM! ♪